late one night

Breathing is something we all take for granted.  We don't give it a second thought until something goes wrong.  In fact we never consider the constant ins and outs.  I remember seeing Bekah's fetal breathing patterns during an ultrasound and being excited for her upcoming life outside the womb.  I had no way of anticipating at that moment that I would later wish she could go back in utero where she was fully safe.

When she was born, I immediately noticed that she had trouble nursing.  That first night was really rough.  She cried endlessly.  The nurse put her crib on an incline so she was nearly sitting up.  This was the only hour or so of peace we had that night.  The lactation consultant assumed that Bekah's difficulty nursing stemmed from a tight frenulum.  That's the little piece of skin beneath the tongue that attaches it to the jaw.  A short or tight frenulum prevents a person from sticking out their tongue and can cause difficulty latching on.  We had her frenulum snipped in a very simple procedure just before discharge.  I had every hope that life would improve.

Upon arriving home, I was patient as she struggled at the breast, not sure why her problems persisted.  As days went by she began to grunt and sweat.   I noticed breath sounds as she was sleeping.  One night, I was sleeping next to her and she was in a bouncy chair.  It bobbed with every breath she took.  I couldn't imagine that this could be a good sign.  I was getting very concerned.

Not too much longer, I attempted to nurse her again and as she slept in my arms her head bobbed with each breath so much that it nearly rolled off my arm.  I had never seen this before.  I did a quick Google search.  There was a youtube video of a baby in respiratory distress bobbing its head in identical fashion as Bekah.  We were having an emergency.  I called out to Jeffrey as he slept demanding with urgency that he wake up as I called 911.